Friday, September 10, 2004
Living like never before
I can't resist replying to this... it wasn't very long before that I was thinking something in similar lines... looking at myself from a distance I was wondering if I would ever have completed my life with the fullest satisfaction in a way I would like it to be... I haven't got an answer yet... but as I started thinking these were some that came to my mind...
I was actually oscillating between being stern and soft and the perpetual thin line between the two... If I am very stern at work, will I carry forward that to my wife and children later in my life... will I become one those short-tempered husbands or that daddy whose very sight frightens the kid... how can I bring about the balance between the musts and oughts and nevers... does telling a stern reply to an elder, when my conscious is convinced of my action, a good thing or bad thing... do elders deserve all the respect in the world irrespective of their words/attitude or is it ok for me to snap-in something simply because my conscious says they deserve to be snapped-in...
Its impossible to be considered a Mr. Nice Guy by everyone... but do I voluntarily try to make as much people consider me a Mr.Nice Guy... or am I hypocritic if I do that... If I don't, is it ok to find a few people to talk ill of me... as long as my conscience doesn't...
Do I need to try to help everyone I encounter... What if I don't choose to help someone (for some reason I'll never really be able to find) when I actually could have... How much do I worry about myself... Is it wrong to be a little selfish... what does "little selfish" actually mean... What is the extent of selfishness beyond which it becomes too selfish...
Whats wrong in desiring for more... After all, how would I grow unless I desire... but if I begin to desire for more won't I start moving towards that "extent of selfishness"... the "extent" being a very relative term... how do I learn to balance between the two extremes of the extent...
How right is it to advice someone... How right is it to advice someone when I myself do not do that... But still can I advice just because it would help the other person... Is it bad to "choose" not to be in touch with someone for my own reasons... Why do I need to worry about someone who may not reciprocate as much as I do... Why do I become so much attached with someone (or at times ignore someone) for apparently no big reason... am I being selfish by doing so...
Do I need to be principled in life... what if my principle is not compatible with "elders"... Do I throw it away just because an "elder" says so.. or do I hold on to it and not bother about becoming victim of some hard talk around me...
Ho.. Hum.. Yaawwnnn... looks more like Kamal Hassan's long dialog about his fears in thenali film... Let me know if u had got any such questions also... and what in your views would be the direction...
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Day before yesterday, I and my roomate were discussing a similar issue, principles in life. He said that he ould like to be a 'man of conveniences'. He meant that he would take the middle road whenever he can and do what he feels is good for him. I said that it may also mean that he might have to be selfish at times. What he said was true to an extent.
Coming to the topic, I always advise that it is your life. You are going to be in charge of it most of the time. Notice I said 'most'. 'cause there may be times and situations where you might not be in control.
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